Unloved
by EllieLover19
Summary: What would happen if Spike lived through the battle in Chosen? How would he feel in season 8 during Long Way Home? Spuffy
1. Chapter 1

**The Long Way Home Part 1**

_A vampire savin' the world, kinda poetic I suppose. Then again so is a vampire with a soul, there aren't too many of those kickin' around, unless you count the other one. What's his face? _

_I saved the world nonetheless, me, a creature of the night, a sworn killer. Instead of taking part in the apocalypse, I helped take it down; wearin' a simple amulet changed my undead life completely. _

_Wreaking havoc in Sunnydale wasn't an option any longer, since it's kinda a large crater in the middle of nowhere, recruiting little teenage brats to slayerhood is all I have going for me now. That and the slayer, but she's barely around to bask in my glory. _

_Didn't catch much of the briefing, but the boy sent her off with a squad to infiltrate a demon nest. Back in the day I would've jumped to the opportunity, but I didn't want to get in the slayer's way; she seems to work better without me. _

_Ever since the little bit with the amulet, Buffy thinks that I'm a hazard in the heat of battle, doesn't wanna risk losing me. Of course she is the slayer, sworn to protect the world and her loved ones, but at times I can't help but think I'm just a small speck in her busy life. Between training the girls during the day and recon by night, I never have time with her. We barely lay in the same bed at night. Can't talk to her about this type of stuff though, don't wanna put more strain on her brain. So all I can do is sit back and watch her lead a couple of hundred girls into battle. _

"Hey Little Nibblet,"

"Uh Spike, I think the _little_ part can be removed from the title." Dawn said.

_Oh right, Dawn's a giant now. Apparently she did some not so wholesome things with a Thricewise Demon and now she's giant size. _

"Right. Sorry, force of habit." I begin to light a cigar; I put it to my lips and inhale.

"Not in here please, it already stinks." Dawn begged.

"Right," I say again, even though I continue to inhale the fumes from the cigar. "When are you gonna talk to big sis about your growth spurt?"

"When I decide it's her business, which will be never."

"Give her a break, she's already gotta deal with 500 other girls."

"Exactly. Why would she try to care about me if she's got little Buffy clones all over the place?"

"Mmm, maybe cause she's your big sis and she _does_ cares about you."

"Really? Cause as soon as random slayers started popping up at our door step, she's paid more mind to them than me "the brunette folded her large arms.

"Dawn that's not… she's the slayer."

"Yeah, so are a bunch of other girls now. Spike, you can't deny it, she's more interested in running her little fan club than thinking about the people that should matter in her life. You nearly died saving the world and she hasn't said more than two sentences to you in the past month, it's like you're practically useless to her." I looked to the side, trying to shake off the feeling that the Little Bit was right. "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean…"

"No, it's fine. I should head out and do some patrol."

"Spike, I..."

"Promise me you'll talk to her when she gets back." Before getting any confirmation, I left the room and started for the spiral staircase. _Since I'm more than 200 years old, it takes a lot to persuade me, but it's hard to protest the situation when you've unwilling accepted it. Touching Buffy doesn't set off the fire it use to and being in her presence was definitely weighing on me… and not in a good way. I always feel unwanted, unneeded, unloved. _

_I came to the balcony and looked out over the landscape of Scotland._

"What at beautiful sight."

**END. **


	2. Chapter 2

**The Long Way Home Part 2 **

Buffy had gotten in from training an hour ago, she was off with the sleep in our bedroom, I still hadn't had alone time with her. But she needed her rest; I didn't want to disturb her. As much as I wasn't a morning person, I'd see her the next day. But if I could just sneek a peak of her sleeping, that would settle right with me.

I slowly opened the door, expecting to see the pleasant sight of her sound asleep. Instead I was greeted with the sight of a crazed brunette standing above her with a funny lookin' dagger.

"Eh!" I exclaimed. The girl looked up at me as I began to charge her. With a blink of an eye, a lighting bolt zapped through my body. I crashed into the opposite wall and blacked out as the searing pain of fire blazed through my body.

I had to have been out for a good while. When I came to, a dozen of the girls, the boy and to my surprise the witch were crowded around the bed Buffy remained to lay in. _God. Was she dead?_

The sudden thought made me clamber to my weak legs.

"This is a true love spell," I heard the witch say. "And she needs to be kissed by someone who's in lover with her."

"Spike!" I heard Dawn shout, her large eyes peeked through the window. Everyone turned to me as I limped into the room.

"Hello all! Know one bothered to move or wake me?"

"Oh, we just thought you looked comfortable all unconscious." Xander shot back.

"What's this business about kissin' her? And where'd that psycho bitch go? She nearly blasted me through the wall."

"Dawn kinda stepped on her." Willow said. "Hi Spike." She added.

"Will," I nodded.

"That was Amy actually; homicidal and psycho is her new look for the season." Xander said.

"Mmm, back to kissing Buffy."

"Oh, Amy placed a true love spell over her and it can only be broken by… not to sound Sleeping Beauty here but,"

"True love's kiss, I've heard the story before. So that'd be me then?"

"Guess so," Willow signaled for me to join her by the bed.

"Alright," I said, beginning to lean over her. "Get ready to wake up, Luv." Our lips touched and for the first time in weeks, it felt like we were finally connected; in that moment I was meant to be with her and she with me. I kissed her longer and harder, not giving a damn who was watching. I slowly pulled away and opened my eyes, she flickered her lashes before opening her's completely. We gazed at each other, I stroked her cheek.

"Spike," she whispered.

"Hey Pet. Sleep well?" I smiled.

"Mmm, not so much." I lean back from her, making sure to give her enough air.

"Wh… how did I get here?" she says. "Did I hear Amy, WILLOW!!!" she jumped out of bed and hugged the redhead. _Just when I felt important, the attention was turned to someone else…yet again. _

**END. **


	3. Chapter 3

**The Long Way Home Part 4**

"So we're kickin' the witch's ass!" I clapped my hands together. Everyone turned to me as if I were crazy. "Amy, I meant Amy."

"No, we're going in to rescue Willow, and Spike you're not going. Xander get Satsu." The boy walked off.

"What? Why?"

"This is just a search and rescue mission, we don't need to go full force. Girls, how much longer until the portal's open?"

"Buffy, I was there, I could help."

"She nearly zapped you through a wall, and it's not the first time it's happened."

"Buffy!" I tried to protest.

"No. I need to get the scythe."

"Right, you go off and play hero, I'll continue to be the damsel."

"What are you…?"

"You called for me ma'am?" Satsu said, Xander returned with her.

"Yeah, the portal's almost open. I need to get something."

"Spike's right here, not payin' any bloody mind to 'em" I whispered. Know one paid any mind of course. Buffy left the room.

**Later…**

_I sat on the edge of the highest balcony in the castle, smoking countless cigarettes. Buffy and the other slayer had been gone for at least an hour, and here I remain again watchin' the Scotland night sky. _

_She really has no use for me anymore. I've contemplated leaving on several occasions, but I couldn't do that to Dawn, not Dawn. Maybe if I just kept my mouth shut, know one would realize I've left. Buffy sure as hell wouldn't. _

"Hey," I heard her call from behind.

"You get the witch?"

"Willow or Amy?"

"Amy, the redhead can take care of herself."

"She got away… with Warren." I gave her a look. "Long story."

"Right."

"Listen, what you said before I left,"

"The damsel and hero bit, yeah."

"What'd you mean?"

"Never mind it luv, just go about your business."

"Why do you do that?"

"For God's sake, what slayer." I turned to her and hopped off the balcony ledge.

"Ignore your problems with luv, and pet."

"I don't have a problem; it's you with the problem." I shot back

"What?"

"Buffy let me ask you a question. What purpose do I server here, with you? Honestly." She was quiet, she looked almost shocked to here me ask the question.

"What do you mean?"

"It's not cryptic slayer, just answer the question." She didn't respond. I began to nod my head. "Do you know that your scent is dim? I could smell you from a mile away, now it's just faint."

"Spike."

"No, let me talk." I demand. It was time to let her know how I felt. "Ever since our little moment in Sunnydale, I've been oblivious to you. You've barely looked at me; we've barely had a conversation without you stormin' off to save the world."

"Spike, it kinda comes with the job description."

"I get that, but you've been all about you for the past month. You and the girls."

"They need to be trained; their powers need to be harnessed."

"And of course it's all up to you. Know what, never mind the girls this about us. I'm completely useless to you Buffy and you know it."

"That's not true."

"Then why am I still here, huh? Have I gone back to being your little comfort zone, is that it? Things don't go your way, you feel unloved and you remember Spike is there?"

"No, wh…?"

"But you don't go to him, because you know he'll always be there when you're ready for him?" she remained silent; deep down she knew I was right. "I saved the world, I woke you from an eternal sleep and not once have you thanked me. I try to go into battle with you and you shut me down. I get close to you, you get scared and shut me down, always."

"That's not… that's not me anymore."

"Anymore, right, of course; cause savin' the world just changes you after it's become a hobby for seven years." I saw her look down as I crushed her with the truth. "As harsh as this sounds, I bet this is how you drove soldier boy off. He gets in one small tiff, and he's immediately powerless to you."

"Spike, don't." I saw the tears beginning to form in her eyes. As much as I wanted to run to her and comfort her, I couldn't. She needed to hear the truth one way or another.

"Do you know that your own sister can't even open up to you, because she feels that you don't even care about her?" This time I didn't wait for a response. I walked past her and left her to her thoughts on the balcony.

**END. **


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